Footprints on the Moon 🌑

Growing up in the projects of NY was an experience that most people in poverty wanted to escape. The way many minorities coped was through drugs, which also lead to abusive behavior, sexually, physically, mentally. Many hopes and dreams are shattered in the projects. When your home life is messed up you don’t wanna be there, it leads you to the streets! That was a way of escaping. That was the time when you see so many other people’s life was just as bad as yours. That’s when you realize those potted meat sandwiches was not so bad at all because at least you had something.

I wasn’t afforded the luxuries some of my friends had. I was not taught how to take care of myself ,at the age of 12 my mom was still doing my hair, washing my clothes by hand, My Mom would make sure I had what I needed to live but she didn’t give me the tools I needed to survive! I learned the basics from the streets, my friends who was more advanced then me,who knew more about life experiences than I did,yet we were all the same age, we learned differently.

The streets taught me how to be the one thing that I was not, Strong! I wasn’t prepared for any of the things that I needed to know. I wasn’t aware of who I was, what I wanted to be, The tools I needed to live in today’s society. All I knew is that when my mom died I had no choice. She died in 1996 when biggie smalls came out with the song the sky is the limit and I was motivated by that I was determined to do something for myself. The first thing I taught myself was nobody gonna take care of me like me. And that was because all the broken promises, the feeling of being let down was just becoming too repetitive in my life.

Majority of minority children are not given the tools they need to survive,we are not taught about finances, building credit, financial wealth, Hell we lived paycheck to paycheck, how can we afford saving anything let alone putting our kids on our line of credit to get them started we had no credit. Every check went to bills it went to rent not even a mortgage but rent to live in low income housing. Those same projects I lived in as a kid is now $2200 a month people are paying that much to live in the projects and something is definitely wrong with that picture.

Now that I’m older with kids on my own. I understand now that my mom did the best she could with the circumstances she was given and it trickled down from generation to generation she could not teach me what she wasn’t taught, so then in return how could I teach mine? Times have changed a little I mean I pay for a house now over 1000 a month. By next year I should have my own house I’m tired of paying someone else’s mortgage. My rent has never been missed even in a pandemic but I can’t go in the bank and get a mortgage because What? I wasn’t given the tools or had no help along the way, or is that just excuses I worked all my life have 2 cars, I work in healthcare and, I go to school fulltime with a full-time job. And I talk to my kids every day about saving money getting their credit right and the responsibilities of adult hood, as far as I know it. But most importantly I am alive and well.

I am a work in progress and everyday I strive to be better, or do something differently. You are never to old to learn everyone is teachable. I will never forget my past because it made me who I am today, Determined! So whether it’s biggie smalls or anyone else. Don’t Tell Me The Sky Is The Limit When There Are Footprints On The Moon

Today I

Today I am stuck in between, feeling anxious and exhausted. I am not feeling like myself the joyful happy person I have grown to Love. I engulf myself with other people’s mess, I try and listen but then I take on their burden, even though I have my own. I’m usually good at just listening and leaving my emotions out of it but not today
Today I am knee deep in emotions your mess makes me realize my own life ain’t as perfect as I want it to be. Now I need someone to listen to me now, someone to carry my baggage along with theirs. The same thing I have done for so many years. Today I need a listening ear some good solid advice, a shoulder to cry on , an uplifting word. A moment of someone else’s time, or just a moment of silence. Today I realized I also need help, I have just as many problems like every other person out here. All while I am saying Today I, Im also aware that Today I need! We all want to be there for others, but we also have to take the time out for ourselves. It’s ok to need help and ask for it. So yes Today I, but tomorrow can be you! #mentalhealth#awareness

Seeds of yesterday

Like a flower in bloom we are learning our way. We are growing and blossoming day after day, Someone once planted a seed in my mind one day, that had me thinking I was undeserving, so I stood in my own way. A thorn in my side was what I would say Who are you to plant those seeds anyway? Today I stand tall and firm and I might even sway, Yeah that’s just me waving goodbye to that seed you planted that day

Scrub Life Blues

Scrub life blues is basically feelings of anxiety or stress related to being a technician in a world full of nurses and doctors. We sometimes fall short on the first responders acknowledgement that is well deserved. We bathe, talk to a check the vital signs for patients we are the eyes and ears of the medical field. We are the people our patients talk too. During the pandemic it’s been especially hard for us We watched as patients and their families suffered. We became overworked, overwhelmed because all the workers that quit. We still suffer from anxiety and anxiousness. I contracted covid at work and was out for 6 weeks I felt abandoned by my job the same people that was all about helping others turned there back on me. I was out with no pay , no hazard pay nothing I couldn’t even feed my own child. The job that I loved to do became exhausting. I never thought anything could make me not like my position but the pandemic had me feeling that way. I struggled with bills being under quarantine from my 8 yr old watching her through the window and I couldn’t do what I do best,which is care for her. The thing I do for everyone else I couldn’t do for my own daughter. I returned to the same hospital once I got better I returned because my patients needed me, and I needed them too. We didn’t ask for this but we deal with the circumstances were given. I am grateful to be able to take care of others. I learn new things daily I also see the ups and downs and inequalities in the work force. I am still have anxiety But I also know that in the end My blessings will come. You never know what someone is going through,so be kind to one another. If someone reaches out to you extend your hand. You never know how strong your arm can be in pulling them up!

Scrub life

Trying to find your way as a technician in a world full of nurses making your vision known, your voice heard and your tears to a minimum. We are the eyes and ears of the sick and injured, yet we are silent and unheard. How do we lift each other up? How do we shine amongst others? Is there anybody listening? #scrublife #zerotohero #loveiskey #lifteveryvoice

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